By Julia R. DeStefano
My late friend Neal used to cover a song called, “There’s a Reward.”
They say that God doesn’t bring us anything that we’re unable to do or handle.
And so often, the most valuable reward -
the one we consider to be our most prized -
is the one we had to earn through merit.
I think that real love is like this, too.
Earned through growth, they call it the up-level
because it's asking us to rise up to meet it.
"It" being real love.
It's usually a challenge that we issue ourselves -
having become tired of patterns or disconnect or lack,
or tired of not feeling good.
But it could be issued in-tandem
with someone who represents light,
or even a second or third chance.
Because it always begins with a change in thinking,
no matter where the thought originates.
What we don't realize though, is that the seed of that thought
was planted many moons ago.
What we're feeling now is the tipping point.
But I don't think it's ever as easy as saying:
"There's my reward!"
Real love is not a car or a cash prize.
Still, there's a quiet knowing that it's yours
even if it doesn't arrive in the package you thought it would.
And it's tugging at you -
sometimes gently
and at other times, more forcefully -
to meet it.
Maybe you even keep it secret at first
because it feels so good to have something just for yourself
after feeling like you've lived for everyone else
and have been discouraged by that.
Either way, there is soul recognition
and a heart that just feels like it was meant to love you
even if you don't necessarily believe in fate -
even if you can't wrap your head around the why.
But however it arrives,
it's up to us what we make of the opportunity.
An amazing opportunity.
Therein lies the challenge
and the reward that lay on the other side of it.
This is where the up-level comes in
as you feel it tugging at you a little more.
Because we're being asked to shift our mindset first
or at least try -
when our wounding just wants us to fall back into wallowing,
and remain stuck in the sludge and muck.
And maybe we do fall back into our wounding from time-to-time
because we're not gods and goddesses but humans.
Having been conditioned for so long to think of easier pathways.
Attempting to convince ourselves that real love is too good to be true.
Self-sabotaging in our laundry list of all the ways
we perceive ourselves not worthy.
Doubtful because we'd thought our lives needed to look or turn out a certain way,
even if it meant sacrificing ourselves in the process.
Refusing to acknowledge the very real differences between attachment and love.
And all the other things that we tucked away over the years
because they felt too inconvenient to address.
OR do we look towards the light
and all that it represents?
Because even if we can't see what's exactly IN the light
or understand where it may lead -
what we CAN feel is that it's something more than what we're used to.
And somehow, that constant pulling at our heartstrings is enough
despite usually needing to see to believe.
But if we're not tuned-in to the frequency of our hearts,
it will be challenging to allow ourselves to see positives
as life brings with it twists and turns
and umpteenth reasons to bury our heads under the covers
and think it all away.
Or distract ourselves by falling back into familiar patterns
even if they no longer truly represent who we are and what we want.
But to receive the best,
we will undoubtedly be tested -
though we will feel it more if we have spent our lives living in our fear
and wounding
instead of living from our hearts.
It's a tale as old as time.
The boy who didn't believe in magic until he saw the girl.
The Fear that was nothing more than a challenge
as it whispered in his ear: "How badly do you want her?"
Because to make the choice to live from the heart -
while it CAN look like a major leap of faith for some -
will MOST likely begin as one step of effort
and then another,
as we try on for size what living from the heart feels like for us
and what that actually looks like in reality.
Small steps until we feel ready to take on larger ones.
The heart that's meant to love you will accept this,
even encourage it.
And before we know it, we've reached the point where we wonder why
we ever dwelled on the other stuff for as long as we did.
When the future is now the present
and it far outweighs the past.
Because to be on the other side of fear
is to wonder why it ever took so long
to make the decision to live
in faith.
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